ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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