I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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