Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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