actually, I'm a sock model
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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