Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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