in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she peed on how many people?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
