I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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