I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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