Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
