i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
