You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize