So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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