I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
