I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
