you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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