yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
