i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
