just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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