3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My vagina is officially offended.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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