I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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