I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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