remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize