The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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