we're chasing vodka with high fives
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
