On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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