i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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