I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
