still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
