is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
