Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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