You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
