i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
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