doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
