You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
