there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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