Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
