Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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