I think im going to throw up on grandma
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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