I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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