fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize