I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
