i barfeds in our rink
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
