He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
