we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize