The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
