I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
