I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
