I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
