I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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