So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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