Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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