So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
