all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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