Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
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