When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
