we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize